Learn To Say No

Learn to Say No

If you wish to be really successful, both personally and professionally, you need to learn to say no. I posted a question on Instagram asking people do they find it difficult to say no, and answers were quite shocking. People were quite straightforward as most of them honestly said that they find it difficult to say no. Mostly, it is because we think that saying ‘No’ might hurt the other person, and in some cases, people just want to be in good books by not saying ‘No.’

Recently, Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, said she could spend her time wisely because she knows when to say no. She says that her priorities are very clear. Following the appearance on Oprah, she is now a famous personality, and people want to get associated with her. However, she has total clarity about with whom she should get associated, so she mastered the art of saying ‘No’ with maximum politeness.

Frankly, unlike the popular notion, there are several benefits of saying no. If you are always available, people take you for granted. In contrast, if your availability is limited, meaning you are in control of your accessibility, then people respect you more. Your relationship with someone might get hampered if you don’t say no because of your unwillingness to spend time with that person creates disinterest. Eventually, this emotion could backfire in the long run. Isn’t it interesting that saying no helps you save the relationship? Problem is not in saying no, but how to say NO. 

The best thing about saying no is that you save time, which you can use more productively in doing something you really love to do. Saying no to others is like saying yes to self. But, it isn’t that easy to say no as we all are socially and morally conditioned to act more like a yes man. Despite inner resistance, we tend to say yes because we weigh in pros and cons differently in social set up. It is tough but not impossible to build the habit of saying no, smartly.  

The simple and best way is to share the reason behind saying no. It is not about justifying your stand, but just expressing your point of view to get out of the guilt trap. If you give a reason to your mind, then the mind is more than happy to accept it as a fact and keep you in a good mood to carry on doing what you love to do. In simple words, valid reason removes the guilt trap. 

So, your approach to explaining the reason behind saying no works like wonder in training the mind. With time you build the habit and become comfortable with saying no without the need for any explanation. Warren Buffet says that the difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people know when to say no to almost anything.

If you want to have a happy life full of achievements, then stop thinking about what people will believe and be firm with what you want in life and stand by it. Your true friends will know and understand your situation and the ones who don’t understand your point of view, then he isn’t worthy of your time, in any case. Saying no helps you concentrate on the really important things, so learn the art of saying no, and you will have enough time to do something that you want to do.
Your no will help you earn time, so learning to say no is like earning time—the most valuable currency of the modern world.